Holy Week: N is for not as expected

For weeks I had planned to spend Palm Sunday through Easter Monday at Our Lady of Grace Monastery in Indiana. Sister Sheila and Sister Luke had given me a warm welcome when I asked if I could join them, and the thought of walking with the Sisters through the week long liturgy filled me with prayerful joy.

Then Holy Trinity in Port Neches asked if I could serve on Palm Sunday. They are located near the Louisiana border and have great difficulty finding clergy. They hadn’t had Eucharist since January. How could I say no to this invitation?

I changed my plane tickets to arrive at Our Lady of Grace on Holy Monday.

Then my brother called and said my mom had taken a turn for the worse. I changed my plane ticket again, told the sisters I could not join them, and flew to my mom’s Holy Monday evening.

A Holy Week. Not as expected.

Holy Tuesday was spent rearranging my mom’s room so that we could replace her bed with a hospital bed. A little miracle happened in the deep cleaning—her engagement ring which had been lost for years was found tucked under her headboard. In the midst of challenges—such joy!

Holy Tuesday night/early Holy Wednesday morning felt like a Garden of Gethsemane. My mother had a great deal of confusion and restlessness getting used to her new bed, and nearly every thirty minutes was punctuated with a sharp cry, “Beth!”

I wanted so much to give my brother the night off, and mainly did.

As I tried to find sleep between caring for my mom, I prayed. At one point, I felt such a sense of being with Jesus in the Garden as he prayed the night he was to be arrested.

His words and mine intertwined:

Can you not stay awake with me?

Take this cup from me!

Not my will, God, but yours.

This is not the Holy Week retreat I expected, but in the challenges, fellowship, suffering, and even laughter, it is a Holy Week indeed.