Syncing with God in Lent

How is your Lent going? I always look forward to Lent. It feels like a spiritual do-over. The timing is well enough away from both the liturgical and calendar new years to be right in sync with a need for a spiritual refresher.

During the last days of Epiphany, I enjoy thinking about fine tuning my spiritual practices. I have fun searching out books or devotionals and/or retreats that will make the Lenten final cut.  Last year, I bought a new purple mug and bowl from my favorite potter for use during Lent. This year, I took some of my Christmas money and bought some new purple earrings for Lent.  Like I said, I have fun getting ready for Lent. 

And then the reality of Lent set in. 

An exhausting week of Lenten preparations at church were capped with attendance at our yearly Diocesan Council. The earrings I bought with my Christmas money look pretty, but don’t help me be any closer to God.  The new planner that I went through a great deal of twists and turns, not to say expense to secure, at least so far, hasn’t left me feeling any closer to God. 
Then my new iPhone crashed. Over and over and over. It was only two weeks old, so I went to the Apple Store for service. Thankfully, everything was backed up on both my computer and in the cloud. 
Turns out, the way to fix the phone was to completely erase it and set it up as a brand new phone. That meant that even though my contacts, photos, music, and documents were saved in the cloud, because my back up most probably was corrupted, I had to start anew.  
It wasn’t like when I bought my new phone and everything transferred over with relative ease. I only had my most essential data, and everything, everything, had to be downloaded and rearranged and set up.
I spent the evening picking and choosing. What wallpaper would I use?  Which apps did I really need?  What were my preferences for sounds and notifications? Passwords had to be entered. Years of choices and selections had to be reexamined and evaluated to see if they were all that essential. 
Many of us say our phone is our life.  This Lent, my phone has become a way to reflect on my life in a way that feels very inconvenient. 

My phone has become an unexpected spiritual practice and place for theological reflection.

What is essential?  What was simply accumulation that I didn’t need after all?  What new ways of navigating will I discover? How will I be forced to pay attention during irritations and frustrations, and when trying to figure out how to get things good enough? 

I am certain that I’ll have many little bumps as I continue to set up my phone in a way that syncs with my life. Hopefully, the phone will no longer crash.   Of the only true importance, how will this twist in the Lenten journey assist me in getting better in sync with God?  



Ash Wednesday: Beginning again

And so it begins.  The holy season of Lent.
On Ash Wednesday, all day long, I will place ashes in the sign of the cross on people’s foreheads, and say the words: Remember that you are dust.  To dust you shall return.
This may be the most spiritually and emotionally exhausting day of my year.  All day long, with people whom I love dearly, together we will remember that we will all die.  
It feels as if I am doing 200 or so little burial services today.
Today I recall the foreheads, those I have smudged with ashes on past Ash Wednesdays, of people I love who are now resurrected from the dust.
Dick.  Jamie.  Pat.  Andy.  Bill.  Mark.  George+.  Lin.  Marilyn.  So many more.
I will walk these forty days of Lent with the words of St. Benedict in my heart: 

Keep death ever before me.  
And 

Always.  We begin again.
With generosity.  Reflecting on and tweaking my spiritual practices in order that I will be able to live more fully the days that God has given me.   
Where will God lead these forty days?

Happy Anniversary to me

I have a friend, who on her birthday, answers each phone call with a joy-filled, “Happy birthday to me!”  It makes me smile.  

Twenty three years ago today I was ordained priest at St. Dunstan’s Episcopal Church. Happy anniversary to me!
That January day, freeze warnings were out, and folks dear to me traveled over treacherous roads to be there to support me and Christ’s Church. 
The morning was spent with my family folding worship booklets. Early afternoon, some women of the parish gave me a manicure. The children of the parish sang the prelude. The preacher, who had been my spiritual director while I was in seminary, told me to be:
Ready. Willing. Unable. 

Today, this anniversary of being as ready as possible. As willing as I can. Unable to do anything, without God’s help, I started the day at the hospital praying with a parishioner before surgery. Afterwards, I had quiet time in my prayer room at home,  incense lit, preparing to officiate at the burial of a parishioner’s father. I’ll have lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant with the woman who was the chair of the Search Committee that has led me to eighteen years serving as rector of St. Mary’s. 

Praying another year to be ready. To be wiling. To be unable. 


Third Sunday in Advent


At St. Marys’s this past week, our Advent theme was peace will stamp out war. I am mindful of the many kinds of wars we experience, beginning with the wars within ourselves and in our relationships. These are a very good place to begin our stamping out.With Jesus’ help. 

I am reminded today of the variety of weapons we use in our individual wars.   Words.  Apathy. Selfishness. Self-centerness. Greed. Fear. 

Then there are actual physical weapons. 

I have never owned a gun, fired a gun, or even held a gun except a water pistol, which I expect doesn’t count.  The only knives I have are in my kitchen. I have used my hands to injure, I am sorry to say. I am not without sin to be forgiven, that’s for sure 

Because I am not personally a gun owner, I’ve been intentional to listen to parishioners who own and collect guns to help me understand the passion for gun ownership. I do live in Texas, after all. 

In all of our conversations, we have been united in our concern for gun safety although I wouldn’t say we have come to consensus on what that looks like and how to achieve it. Of course, in my experience, if challenges were easy to solve, we’d have already done it. 

I hope we can agree to pray about the violence that leads to all sorts of war.  Then to listen for the answer God invites us to be to that prayer.  

Today is Gun Violence Prevention Sabbath and many parishes will use this litany for the Prayers of the People.   Will you pray with us?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Giver of Life and Love, you created all people as one family and called us to live together in harmony and peace. Surround us with your love as we face the challenges and tragedies of gun violence.
For our dear ones, for our neighbors, for strangers and aliens, and those known to you alone, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace. 
God of Righteousness, you have given our leaders, especially Barack, our President, our Governor, the members of Congress, the judges of our courts and members of our legislatures, power and responsibility to protect us and to uphold our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
For all who bear such responsibility, for all who struggle to discern what is right in the face of powerful political forces, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace. 
God of Compassion, we give you thanks for first responders, for police officers, firefighters and EMTs, and all those whose duties bring them to the streets, the lobbies, the malls and the homes where the carnage of gun violence takes place day after day. Give them courage and sound judgment in the heat of the moment and grant them compassion for the victims.
For our brothers and sisters who risk their lives and their serenity as they rush to our aid, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace. 
Merciful God, bind up the wounds of all who suffer from gun violence, those maimed and disfigured, those left alone and grieving, and those who struggle to get through one more day. Bless them with your presence and help them find hope.
For all whose lives are forever marked by the scourge of gun violence, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace. 
God Who Remembers, may we not forget those who have died, more than 30,000 this year, in the gun violence that we have allowed to become routine. Receive them into your heart and comfort us with your promise of eternal love and care. 
For all who have died, those who die today, and those who will die tomorrow, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace. 
God of Justice, help us, your church, find our voice. Empower us to change this broken world and to protest the needless deaths caused by gun violence. Give us power to rise above our fear that nothing can be done and grant us the conviction to advocate for change. 
For your dream of love and harmony, Loving God 
Make us instruments of your peace.
All this we pray in the name of the One who offered his life so that we might live, Jesus the Christ. Amen. 

A Litany for the Gun Violence Prevention Sabbath 
written by the Rt. Rev. Stephen T. Lane, Episcopal Bishop of Maine

A final note:  if you’ve gotten this far, it means you’ve likely prayed this prayer. I received word that someone in the parish I serve had been offended by this prayer and felt that it was part of a larger political agenda.  Please know. This is a prayer.  I’m still personally figuring out what it means to serve and follow the Prince of Peace and need all of you to help me find my way. I wonder if you do, too.