First Friday in Advent: Worship

As a person paid to lead worship, I’ve thought an awful lot about what worship means. At the heart of worship, for me, is that it’s all about God. Worship has a sense of intentionality and presence.

Every morning of the Advent retreat begins with enjoying the wonder of the day’s unique gift of sunrise.

A moment to give thanks to God. Worship.

My friend builds a fire, and on the couch before the hearth, we sit mainly in silence with our coffee, reading, writing, photographing, pondering, praying. Worship.

One of the biggest decisions to be made on the Advent retreat is where worship in community will occur. It should be a given: whatever Episcopal Church is closest, but for some reason, having this rare opportunity for choice makes it a place for me to reflect on what worship is, and not being alone, my friend’s thoughts are part of the conversation, too.

Being intimately involved in all the twists and turns of the Church, I am aware what an imperfect vessel we the Church are. It, frankly, can be a distraction. I am thankful to be reminded this cold Advent morning that worship is not about me, ever, but always about God.

For today, I will think on Psalm 96. I will worship God in the beauty of holiness and, for now, that is enough.

First Thursday in Advent: Repent

After lunch in Chimayo yesterday, I went to the Santuario de Chimayo to pray for the ever so many people I carry in my heart. It’s a strange place full of images of dying, bloodied Jesuses. I wonder what spirituality finds consolation in that? Yet, amidst, for me, the visually uncomfortable space, the air is thick with prayer. I was still and with God.

The drive up the High Road to Taos was as stunning as always, with drifts of leftover snow along the way. Having sat with God, I was keenly aware of a couple of important matters that I had left undone, not because I was too busy but clearly because of sloth. I wanted to talk to my friend about this, but was hesitant. I’m not sure why. Finding the small courage to confess, I was able to be energized to do those things I’d left undone.

This morning, as I received some lovely responses to doing those things that had been left undone, I was struck by the Society of St. John the Evangelist word of the day: repent.

Repentance:The power God offers of turning a corner, changing direction, to walk with God, rather than in disharmony.

It’s like cinnamon toast and coffee enjoyed in front of a roaring fire.

Advent. New Mexico

For twenty years, my best friend, who lives in Georgia, and I meet in New Mexico for an Advent retreat. Over the years it has evolved into a lovely rest with a base of play, quiet, hikes, coffee and food, and visits with friends. Then there are the yearly surprises.

I flew after work yesterday so I arrived in the dark. A quick dinner in Albuquerque fortified us for the hour drive in the dark to Santa Fe for the night.

One of my favorite Advent sights are the lights of the Plaza in Santa Fe and the farolitas. These lights always fill me with joy–a reminder of the joy-filled Light of Christ.

Today I’m up early to blue sky and twenty degree cold. Filled with local roast coffee and green chile white cheddar bagel, I’m off soon to Chimayo to meet a friend for lunch and then prayers at the Santuario de Chimayo. I’ll have my eyes open for the Light.

Prayers for a marriage

Today is the feast day of St. Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist. I am reminded that before Matthew was an evangelist and an apostle, he was a tax collector, and as such, an agent of the occupying enemy government with the legal authority to cheat his neighbors. And Jesus called him to be a disciple.

I am mindful this feast day of all of the folks that Jesus surrounded himself with on a day by day basis. As best as I can figure, two brothers were blue collar workers (Peter and Andrew); two were sons of a prominent business owner (James and John); one was a religious radical to whom Jesus stayed faithful even when he betrayed him (Judas); one was a man who asked endless questions (Thomas); one was a man who brought people outside the faith to meet Jesus (Philip); there were other men whose names can’t be gotten straight across the Gospels; and then there were the women and children. Who but Jesus would gather this unlikely group of souls to be his first Church?

I suspect that they seldom all agreed. Which is why I imagine Jesus gave them a prayer to pray, on which they could agree–the one we call the Lord’s Prayer. I also imagine that because Jesus knew that conflicts within his community were surely ahead that his last act in the Gospel of John, before his betrayal, was to pray that we would all be one as Jesus and God are one.

I’ve been called by God, I believe, as Rector of St. Mary’s, to help us to be a yes to Jesus’ prayer. How can we be united in mission when we have disagreements? We’ve been practicing doing this as we’ve been revisioning our master plan for what we call our sacred space.

We’ve begun another conversation about marriage. As Rector, it may be the most challenging yet for me. For the dear people with whom I’ve walked for years and love dearly, each has an often very deeply held conviction about what marriage is and isn’t. Marriage between man and woman. Between two men. Between two women. Remarriage. Blessing and marriage. Civil union and Sacrament.

If Jesus could choose to walk daily with an enemy of his people, a man who would betray him, rich men, ordinary men, a person whose questions never seemed to get answered, another who kept bringing “those people” to meet Jesus, can’t we figure out how to be a “yes” to Jesus’s prayer to somehow live together with the more which unites us than the smaller bits that don’t? I know it’s not that simple………but maybe, it is.

There’s is prayer that we shared yesterday in Adult Christian Formation. It was written by The Right Rev. Charles Slattery (1867–1930), Bishop of Massachusetts. Called A Prayer for a Married Couple, he wrote it to be used for daily devotions in his family. Knowing that the image often used in Scripture about the relationship between Christ and his Church is that of marriage, it seems to me that it is a prayer that could also prayed as a Church family.

O God, our Heavenly Father, protect and bless us.

Deepen and strengthen our love for each other day by day.

Grant that by thy mercy neither of us ever say one unkind word to the other.

Forgive and correct our faults, and make us instantly to forgive one another should one of us unconsciously hurt the other.

Make us and keep us sound and well in body, alert in mind, tender in heart, and devout in spirit.

O Lord, grant us each to rise to the other’s best. [my favorite line]

Then we pray thee, add to our common life such virtues as only thou canst give.

And so, O Father, consecrate our life and our love completely to thy worship,

and to the service of all about us,

especially those whom thou hast appointed us to serve,

that we may always stand before thee in happiness and peace;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

AMEN